Pushing Limits (Fighting Love: Book 1) Read online

  I miss you, Ang. The tears blur my vision as I swipe them away angrily. Why did you have to leave me? Picking up my favorite photo of her, I tenderly wrap the picture in tissue paper, and place it in my suitcase.

  My mother barges back into my room to dictate her marching orders, “Your aunt forwarded me the school information. I was at my breaking point after the Angela situation so I had her investigate an alternative to your staying here.” A chill races up my spine. Priceless.

  Her dark eyes glance at her phone, referring to an e-mail, as her hand smooths a blond hair back into place. “You will be attending Texas College. It’s an exclusive private college in Austin. I managed to persuade them to give you a spot despite your underwhelming academic performance.” She turns to me to drive her point home. Every inch of her 5’11” frame commanding the room, sucking up all the oxygen. “You’ll be exposed to suitable husbands and make connections that will serve the family. You’ll fly out tomorrow, and your aunt will meet you on the tarmac in Columbus where she will finish the flight with you to Austin. She’ll enroll you and take care of getting you settled in. I have spoken with your father, and he is in agreement that it would be best if we let Aunt Patty manage all your communications until the summer break.”

  I plop onto the bed. The weight of utter defeat envelopes me. She holds all the cards. I try to mask my feelings but her smirk tells me she sees it, and she knows she’s won.

  Sitting on the bed, Mother pats my hand saying, “You have an early flight tomorrow.” She lifts my chin, inspecting my face. “You might want to put some Clearasil on that bump tonight, dear. You need to make a good impression tomorrow. You can’t very well do it with a huge blemish on your face.”

  She slaps her hands on her thighs, standing, as if the matter is settled. Turning to pull open my door, she says, “I think you’ll find that if you put your best foot forward, this can be a fresh start for you. Concentrate on meeting the right people.” Her overly plumped lips stretch into a condescending smile, “This really is what’s best for everyone, Amber.”

  “Really, Mother? Sounds like it’s what’s best for you. Goodnight.” I turn and shove a shirt into my bag, feeling a cold shiver up my spine as I hear her last words….a low muttering of “ungrateful brat” as the door closes.

  ***

  My nightmare crashes to its usual end, waking me with a start. My heart pounds as I come down from the rush. Shit! The dreams are back. I shake off the chills along with the images that flash in my mind of blood and a body lying on the floor.

  Rubbing my face, I attempt to stifle the ache that always follows one of my nightmares. Vainly attempting to push the dread down, shove it away. A tear slides down my cheek, and I swipe it away. I can’t cry anymore. I can’t. Swinging my legs off the bed, I pull on a robe and venture downstairs, hoping to find my mother. Maybe after sleeping on it, she’ll see reason. As I descend the winding staircase, I formulate my arguments to win her over: it will improve our relationship, you can monitor my grades, and I can help with public appearances or charity work. I hate kissing her ass, but if it’s what I have to do to stay…I’ll have to suck it up. I take a deep breath, stand tall, and walk into the kitchen.

  Elise putters around the kitchen making sure breakfast is ready, and coffee is available. The smell of warm eggs, sausage, bacon, and my favorite French roast fills the air. Her uniform is starched and expertly pressed. Her soft grey hair is pulled tightly into a bun, not a hair out of place, the very vision of the efficient housekeeper.

  Her soft, withered face breaks into a smile as she glances up, but her smile doesn’t quite reach her soulful, green eyes. One look at her sad eyes makes it painfully obvious she has been informed of my departure. “Good morning, Amber. May I get you some eggs? Or better yet, I could make those waffles you like so much.”

  “No, thank you, Elise. Have you seen my mother?”

  “I’m sorry, Amber, but she left about an hour ago for her office. She had an early morning breakfast meeting.”

  “She left…without saying goodbye?” Sighing, I shake my head. “She couldn’t even take a moment to say bye to me.”

  “Would you like me to try her at the office?” Elise offers.

  “That’s all right….I doubt it would make a difference. I take it she told you I’m leaving this morning for another school.”

  “Yes, she told me you were going to Texas. I am to pack up your room and have your things sent to the college in Austin. Is there anything special I can send along with your things?”

  “No….that won’t be necessary. Everything I want I can fit in my bags. Don’t bother to send the clothes and all the other stuff.” I smile lovingly and squeeze her hand. “You always do so much for me. Do I tell you thank you enough Elise?”

  “No thanks necessary, sweetie. I love taking care of you.”

  The tears pool as I focus on my feet. “Elise, why does she hate me? I’ve tried to be what she wanted me to be. I really did.” I whisper, “It never seems to be enough.”

  Elise rounds the kitchen island, taking me in her comforting arms, enveloping me in a big bear hug. “Oh, Amber…it’ll be all right.” Rubbing my back softly, she hugs me. She pulls back to look lovingly into my eyes. “Your mother, well…she does the best she can. I know she loves you. She just doesn’t express it well.” Her hands rub up and down my arms as she smiles half-heartedly. As I look into her kind face, I can see even she doesn’t believe her own words.

  “Right,” I say as a big fat tear rolls down my check.

  Elise raises my chin, peering into my eyes. “Now, chin up. Take this opportunity, and embrace it. You need to leave all of that horrific ugliness behind. If you stay here, well, I worry you’ll never move on.” She hugs me harder, stroking my hair with her hand.

  I hug her back, thanking God once again that I had her growing up. Relaxing into her arms, I breathe in her scent of clean laundry, baby powder, and flowers. It is the scent that reminds me of home, of the woman I always wished were my mother. This sweet, gentle soul who I loved with all my heart.

  Sniffing softly, she turns and says, “Look at the time. You better get upstairs. Arthur will be in at seven sharp to drive you to the airport. You know how he is about staying on schedule.” Her face beams, as tears rim her eyes. “You are going to do great! Study hard and stay out of trouble, and you’ll do fine. Now, you better get going, little one.”

  The nickname she gave me so long ago brings a soft smile to my face. I remember when I had first met this incredible woman who gave that special name to a frightened, shy, four-year-old girl she had only just met. I put my arms around her shoulders and squeeze. She pats my hand and turns to wipe the counter, brushing away a tear.

  I hug her tightly. “Thanks, Elise. I love you…so much. I’ll miss you. I’ll call you once I get settled in.” I walk out of the kitchen and climb the stairs, trying to be hopeful that this can be a new beginning for me.

  Chapter 2

  “Ms. Turner, we’re landing soon. You asked me to wake you when we started our descent.” Lisa spoke softly through the door. Lisa has been on staff for the last five years. She was nice enough...your typical flight attendant. Tall, long legs, model good looks….a real beauty queen. She’s friendly but discreet, knowledgeable in how to be available, but transparent when unneeded.

  “Thank you, Lisa.” I rouse myself begrudgingly out of bed to meet my Aunt Patty. Checking my makeup and hair in the mirror, I stare at my face with dread, my skin is pale and taunt from my fitful sleep. My light pink hair is holding up, it’s short and spiked into a punk style. As I reapply my charcoal eyeliner, my stone cold blue eyes gaze back, hardened since leaving Illinois.

  I don’t know why I expected anything to change. Now that the campaign is over, she doesn’t need me. From what she said last night, apparently that was the plan all along. Serves me right for thinking anything would change.

  Padding to my seat, I sit down and buckle in. Lisa glides to my seat, asking if I
require anything. Ordering juice, I settle back for our landing and grimace at the idea of spending the rest of the day with my aunt with her “Suzy Sunshine” routine. It wears thin after a while.

  With the bump of the landing gear, I survey the Ohio airfield. The sun is bright, and the sky is clear. It’s the usual concrete and grass.

  Pulling up to the tarmac, Lisa opens the cabin door, and the stairs descend. I glance over the airfield as my aunt walks out of the terminal toward the plane.

  Pulling her suitcase behind her, she is dressed in jeans and old Nikes. Her hair is tied into a ponytail, golden blond and bouncy...so different from my mother’s ashy white blond hair. It’s hard to believe they are even sisters. Her George Strait t-shirt from his last concert is old and frayed. Her jeans flare over her pair of running shoes, worn with age. I chuckle at the glaring second difference…my mother would never be caught dead in that outfit.

  “Hi Sweetie!” My Aunt Patty hugs me as she enters the plane.

  “Hi Aunt Patty. How are you?” I say flatly. I remain in my seat, swiveling it to pat her hand as she hugs me tightly. She takes the seat opposite me, lowering into it gracefully. Same old Patty. Despite any changes to her financial situation, you can always see the hint of the debutant underneath.

  Lisa asks, “Ms. Kennedy, can I get you a beverage?”

  “I’ll take a glass of Chardonnay.” She orders crisply, with a bright smile. “Thank you, Lisa.” Her beauty hasn’t faded over the years. Unlike my mother, she hasn’t pumped her face full of poisons and fillers in an attempt to deter Father Time. Aunt Patty manages to retain her fresh-faced, California girl looks even though she is the older sibling. Looking at her tan, lightly freckled face, you would never guess that she is only two years older than my mother. She looks more like she’s five years younger.

  Turning to me, she leans forward to grab my hand. “How are you, honey?” Her hand softy strokes my fingers. I pull my hand away and reach for my glass of juice. I refuse to go down that road…not again.

  “I’m fine,” I say, giving her a passing glance, “I think I’m going to nap for a bit. I was up at the crack of dawn this morning.” Without waiting for a reply, my hands grip the arms of the leather seat as I stand up abruptly.

  I have no desire to chat it up for the next two hours. No way. Not knowing whether everything I say will be reported back to my mother. No fucking way. Rising to move to the cabin bedroom, I walk to the back of the plane.

  She sighs and murmurs, “Of course. Don’t let me keep you. Sleep well.”

  Lying down on the bed, my mind is racing. Did she really expect me to talk to her? After what she did? My aunt sure has some moxie. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

  I was close to my aunt throughout high school. Last year, my mother told me they were “helping her out.” With my mother, there was no generosity…only business transactions. Tit for tat, that’s the way she viewed all situations. Ever the politician. If my aunt needed the money, she would give it to her, but only in exchange for something in return. Turns out, it was information she wanted in return. Mother wanted to know more about “this Angela person,” and my aunt gleefully spilled her guts.

  My body flips in restless agitation trying to find a place in the bed to relax. Punching the pillow, I pull, tug, and wrestle with the covers before I finally settle my body. My head sinks into the cool, plush pillow, relaxing my tired neck and shoulders. Easing the tension of yesterday from my limbs, I finally drift off.

  ***

  The roar of our descent, and Lisa’s knock at the door announce our arrival, wake me from my all-too-short nap.

  Raising myself up from the cabin bed, the fog of the deep sleep weighs me down. My dreams over the last few hours are filled with dark chocolate eyes, a hand slipping away, my mother’s angry face, and waves of swirling darkness. The sounds of crashing glass, gunshots, sirens, and someone crying. But, it’s the crimson that always forces me awake. A chill hits my back as I remember the red. An unholy shade, pooled and thick. Afterwards, it’s always the same. Like splashing into an ice cold pool of water, the sadness and loss envelopes me.

  “Lisa, can you get me some Advil and a glass of OJ?” I grunt through the door. My head feels like a vice has been administered to successfully break my skull wide open. Rubbing my eyes, I massage my temples to try to lessen the pain. Standing, I smooth my shirt out but it’s pointless. I am a wrinkled mess. Staring into the mirror, I grimace at my reflection. The bags are irrefutable. I hate it when she’s right. My eyes have huge dark circles under them.

  Opening the door to the cabin, I take my seat. Lisa places a glass of juice and some Advil on my side table. Fastening my seatbelt, I nod to my aunt with a tight-lipped smile.

  Aunt Patty gives me an awkward smile. She absently fidgets in her chair as she tries to get me to talk. “Your mother wants us to head over to the school after we land. She has a car meeting us outside the terminal. Are you hungry?” Her appraising eyes glide over me, probably rummaging for information, a hint of warmth…even a tiny bit of civility. Denied.

  “No, thank you,” I say with a vexed look. “I’m fine. Let’s get on with this, ok?” My lip contorts into a snide grimace. Lisa refills my juice discreetly and walks out of earshot.

  The thump of the landing gear descending jolts me into my realization that we have arrived in Austin. Fucking Austin, Texas. Not New York…or even Boston…hell, I’d even take Houston. No, it’s Austin, Texas, my new Hell on Earth. Redneck Paradise…the land of big hair…Yee-fucking-haw. As I pull up the shade and glance out the tiny window, the punishing sunbeams blind me momentarily. The tarmac is like any other, barren and desolate.

  As I descend the stairs, the warm air hits my face, shocking my system. My heavy jacket instantly heats my body in the sixty degree weather. The bright sun warms my face and the jolt of the hot temperature surprises me. Had I been given more notice, hell any notice about where I was going, maybe I would have worn something lighter instead of stepping off the plane and immediately sweating like a pig. Thanks so much, Mother Dear. I yank the jacket off with a huff.

  A car is waiting in the distance to take me to my new school. Watching the driver, I note he’s younger than most of the drivers we’ve had. As we move closer to the car, it’s hard not to notice his impressive build and boyish face. Cute. Cloaked in my shades, my eyes run undetected over his frame, checking him out. He’s about six foot, maybe six two. Nice. His dark hair curls below his cap, grazing his collar. He has a chiseled rugged face, but the dimples in his cheeks soften his features. His eyes are covered with shades too, but his smile flashes brilliant white as we approach. Totally hot.

  “Yum – my,” my aunt murmurs, calling my attention back to her presence and away from the man only two notches down from a Greek god. I realize my mouth has dropped open.

  “Welcome to Austin, Ms. Turner, Ms. Kennedy.” He introduces himself. “I’m Tommy. I’ll be driving y’all to the college.” His grin is relaxed and easy, contradicting his formal chauffeur’s uniform with the crisp, heavily-starched, white shirt.

  Aunt Patty practically swoons as she says, “Thank you.” My head pops toward her in dismay. That’s just gross. She’s twice his age.

  He gallantly opens the door of the Towne car, and we climb in. Hesitating as he closes the door, his eyes drop as he stares for a moment. Glancing at him, I follow his gaze to my motorcycle boots. As I look back at his face, I notice his hand brushing over his lips in a vain attempt to hide a boyish grin. I smile up at him as he softly closes the car door.

  As he climbs into the driver’s seat, he turns asking, “Would you prefer to go to your hotel first or go straight to Texas College, Ms. Kennedy?”

  “My hotel, please….Thank you, Tommy.” Her words hold a lilt of a purr. My God, how embarrassing!

  The ride from the airport seems endless but at least the road is trimmed in grass. The green is a definite departure from Chi-town. Everything is brown this time of
year in Chicago. I’m struck by the fact that once again, I am trapped in the middle of nowhere. Nowhere USA…but not just nowhere…this is nowhere with cattle. Yeah me. I sink back in the seat resigned to be completely miserable.

  As we make our way down the highway, it opens up to a tree-lined road with rolling hills of lush green spattered with inviting blue flowers. The flowers are everywhere. It’s not at all what I expected. Wow, it’s beautiful. Where are the ranches, the cattle? Hell, I don’t even see a horse.

  Once we enter the city, we pass over lakes, clear blue surrounded by trees and a spattering of palatal homes. As we drive to downtown, the city is filled with tall buildings of white stone, shiny glass towers, and old historical buildings, all unique. The skyline is tall and impressive. As we drive through the city, there’s a river or lake in the center of it. It’s quite striking. People walk and run on the jogging trails, kayaking down the lake, enjoying the sunshine, all in the middle of a downtown metropolis. The low sound of children playing and people talking as they go about enjoying the lake drift through the air.

  Interrupting the silence, Aunt Patty asks, “So what do you think of Austin? It’s stunning, don’t you think?” Her face alights with a nudging expectation. Her inner cheerleader has clearly come out to do her bit.

  “Sure,” I mutter, unwilling to make this a happy experience for her when it is clearly another opportunity to ship me off to yet another school, and she helped them do it. Turning back to the window, I continue to ignore her attempt at mindless conversation.